Davidson's Kim Wayne: 'Why I Coach: A Personal Reminder'

By Atlantic 10 Conference

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Courtesy: Atlantic 10 Conference

By Kim Wayne, Head Coach, Davidson College  @DavidsonLax 

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When I close my eyes at night, my mind races as I reflect back on the day. On game days the reflections often keep me up. What could I have changed? Was the game plan what it should have been?  Did my team execute the way they could have? Why are we turning the ball over so much?  I should really talk to Sally tomorrow. Let me text her. Wait, it’s 11:00pm. She’s not thinking about the game right now. I’ll text her in the morning. Just close your eyes and go to sleep.

A few minutes later, I’m out. The day has officially gotten to me, and now I have 8 hours to forget my worries. Or, do I?

4:00 am rolls around and my eyes open with fear once again. Why did a team I believe we are better than beat us? That’s on me. How could I have let my team down?

In my ten years of being a head coach I have had two real breakdowns I can remember, and both of those breakdowns occurred after my team lost a game I truly believe we should have won.

The first one was around eight years ago when I curled up in my townhouse and started crying. It was late at night and we had just lost a game by a goal. At the ripe old age of 27, I had only been a head coach for a couple years but I still expected more from myself. As the tears fell down my face, I kept asking myself why I chose a profession that could make me feel this bad about myself. What am I getting out of this job?  What am I putting into this job that matters? 

The second breakdown occurred last year when we once again lost a game I know we should have won. It was on me, and I truly believed I had let my team down. As I walked off the field to find my family, I didn’t stop to talk to parents or friends who had come for the weekend to cheer us on. I scooped up my three year-old, asked him to give me the biggest hug he could, and kept walking toward my office. I was fighting back tears I knew would eventually surface, but I didn’t want to look vulnerable around my two boys who looked up to me. Read the full post here.


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